In a brief news conference held on the steps of City Hall, the
CEO of Chaos International, with the mayor at his side, announced
that Chaos is shutting down operations and closing the doors of
its Treadmill scooter factory. Controversies raging over an alleged
"Plutonium" scooter -- as well as worker protests, citizen
boycotts, and a renewed EPA investigation -- "have absolutely
nothing to do with the shutting down of the plant," according
to the CEO. Rather, he cited rising production costs as driving
the relocation of scooter manufacturing to a yet undisclosed third-world
country. The CEO further denied that weapons-grade plutonium had
ever been shipped or used by his company.
At the same news conference, the mayor indicated that the city
of Treadmill would purchase the land formerly occupied by the Treadmill
plant and would contract with Chaos to build a new shopping mall,
convention center, and playground on the site. According to the
mayor, there was scant evidence that above-ground radiation levels
constituted an immediate threat to human health.
Both the CEO and the mayor
agreed that jobs created by demolition of the old factory, as well
as construction and use of the new facilities, would more than offset
jobs lost due to the plant's shutdown.
CITY COUNCIL TO MEET
An emergency meeting of the Treadmill City Council
has been slated for Thursday, December 11. The agenda of the meeting
will be "The Impact of Chaos on the Community and Environment
of Treadmill." Items under discussion will include the closing
of the Chaos scooter plant and the mayor's plan to hand over more
of the taxpayers' money to Chaos. Council members have invited all
concerned citizens to attend.
Mutant frogs, with extra or missing limbs, multiple
eyes, and other deformities have been observed in many ponds and
lakes in the Midwest and other regions. See
this site for more information.