Chaos International

TO: Important People
From: Executive Vice-President
Subject: Toy Production
Date: 12/02/03
CC: Almost Everyone Else

The Treadmill City Council has officially "invited" Chaos to meet with concerned citizens to discuss the impact of our recent acquisition of Safe-TeeToys. There are rumors that activist consumer groups, as well as disgruntled former Safe-Tee employees, have pressured the city council and the mayor (who assured us this would not happen after our generous campaign to re-elect). After the public relations nightmare brought on by our "rogue" advertising department regarding the scooter fiasco, we have no choice but to make our case that Chaos is good for Treadmill.

Our Financial Manager will come up with charts and graphs to show how we saved Safe-Tee Toys from insolvency and turned it from a money-pit into a money-maker: Profits are up. We have a smaller, more productive workforce. Materials' costs have been slashed. Compared to last year, when Safe-Tee Toys couldn't fill its orders in time for the holidays, we are pumping out more toys at less expense. Safe-Tee Toys' reputation for quality, safety, and reliability has helped us maintain higher prices and profit margins. Our financial officer will show money saved by --

  • smaller payroll through layoffs
  • cheaper materials
  • lowered production costs
  • decreased down-time

The bottom line is that quarterly profits have gone up dramatically since the acquisition and restructuring.

There is the small matter of increased litigation costs, which our Legal Assistant will intentionally downplay in a brief report. We will emphasize that most complaints are being handled by our Customer Service Representative, who is occasionally in the office and who has set up a Website for filing warranty and liability claims. This site can be found at Chaos Customer Service.

The truth is that Safe-Tee Toys is making money for a change; injuries to children are at an acceptable or cost-effective level; and Chaos sees no need at this time to move its toy division offshore. We will convince citizens that what is good for Chaos is good for Treadmill. We have posted an ad in the Gazette to that effect.

Finally, I have asked the production manager to do whatever has to be done to up production by 20%. We need to fill all those holiday orders. And I need my bonus.


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